29 Jan Top 10 Questions to Help You Write Personal Wedding Vows

Top 10 Questions to Help You Write Personal Wedding Vows

Feeling Stuck Writing Your Wedding Vows? You’re Not Alone.  Writing your own wedding vows can feel exciting—but also scary.

As a wedding photographer for over 15 years, I have seen hundreds of couples stress about this exact moment. I’ve watched grooms hurriedly scribbling on hotel notepads minutes before the ceremony, and I’ve seen brides frantically searching Google for “vow templates” or asking for help from AI while getting their makeup done.

My advice? Don’t try to write the “Vows” yet.

When you try to sound poetic immediately, you get stuck. Instead, pour yourself a drink, sit down alone, and just answer some honest questions about your partner. When you focus on the memories rather than the performance, the words will flow naturally.

The difference is rarely about writing skills. It’s about asking the right questions before you start writing.

Why Personal Wedding Vows Matter

Personal vows are one of the most emotional moments of a wedding ceremony.
They are not meant to sound perfect. They are meant to sound real.

A good vow:
– Reflects who you are as a couple
– Feels natural when spoken aloud
– Connects emotionally with your partner and guests

The questions below are designed to help you dig into memories, feelings, and promises that truly matter.

To get you started, here are the Top 10 Questions to Help You Write Personal Wedding Vows that will get the creative juices flowing.

1. What was your first impression of your partner?

Be honest! Did you think he was a bit sombong (arrogant) at first? Did you love her smile immediately? Or did you meet on a dating app and feel incredibly nervous about that first meetup? This moment is often emotional and very personal. It could be a big event—or a very ordinary day.

Ask yourself:

• What was he/she wearing that day?
• Did I think, “Wow, he is out of my league”?
• Did I honestly think we would just be friends, or did I know there was a spark instantly?
• Why this works: It creates a “Before & After” story. It shows your guests (and your partner) how far you’ve come—from strangers to soulmates.

 

2. When did you first realise this person was “the one”?

This moment is often emotional and very personal. It could be a big event—or a very ordinary day. Maybe it was when he took care of you when you were down with a fever. Maybe it was a simple moment eating supper by the roadside when you realized, “I could do this forever.”

Ask yourself:

• Was it during a specific trip we took together?
• Was it a quiet moment on the sofa where I looked at him and just knew?
• Was it when I saw how kind she was to my nieces and nephews?
• Why this works: Specific memories are always more powerful than generic adjectives. “I love you because you are kind” is nice. “I knew I loved you when you stopped to help that uncle cross the road” is beautiful.

 

3. What is a “quirk” your partner has that you secretly love?

Does he have a specific way he must eat his food? Does she have a “stressed face” that you find adorable? Does he refuse to throw away that one old t-shirt? Often, the most touching vows mention simple things.

Ask yourself:

• What is a weird habit he has that makes me laugh?
• Is she obsessed with a specific type of chili sauce?
• Does he sing loudly (and badly) in the car when he thinks no one is watching?
• Why this works: It proves you see them—really see them. It shows you love your partner for who they really are, flaws and all.

 

4. How has your partner made your life better?

Look at the big picture. Since this person walked into your life, have you become more patient? Has he taught you to slow down and enjoy the little moments? Has she helped you reconnect with your family? Marriage is not about perfection, it’s about growth.

Ask yourself:

• What was I like before I met him/her?
• Has he taught me to be more adventurous?
• Do I sleep better at night just knowing she is there?
• Why this works: This is the heart of gratitude. It validates your partner’s positive impact on your existence.

 

5. What is the hardest thing you’ve overcome together?

A strong marriage isn’t just about the happy times; it’s about surviving the storms. Did you survive a long-distance relationship (LDR) while one of you was working in another city? Did you navigate tough family drama or a sudden career change? Real vows acknowledge real life. You don’t need details—just honesty.

Ask yourself:

• When were we closest to giving up, but chose to stay?
• How did he/she support me when I was going through a tough time?
• What challenge made us realize we are a solid team?
• Why this works: It adds weight to your vows. It says, “We have been tested, and we are still here.”

 

6. What do you admire about how your partner treats others?

Watch how he or she treats their parents, their friends, or even the waiter at the restaurant. Does he respect the elders? Is she generous with her time?

Ask yourself:

• How does he treat his mother?
• Is she the friend everyone calls when they have a problem?
• Is he kind to animals or strangers?
• Why this works: It highlights character and values. In our culture, respecting family and elders is crucial, and acknowledging this always touches the hearts of the older generation in the audience.

 

7. What do you miss most when you are apart?

Is it his laugh? The safety of her hug? Or is it something simple, like having someone to complain to about the traffic jams after work?

Ask yourself:

• What is the first thing I want to tell him when I get home?
• Does the house feel too quiet without her voice?
• Do I miss his terrible jokes when he’s not around?
• Why this works: It highlights their necessity in your daily life. It shows that their presence makes your world “right.”

 

8. What are 3 specific promises you want to make?

Vows need actual promises! This is often the hardest part, which is why it is included in these Top 10 Questions to Help You Write Personal Wedding Vows. Think of a mix of “heavy” and “light” commitments. This is the heart of a wedding vow.

Ask yourself:

• What is a serious promise I need to keep forever? (e.g., faithfulness, patience).
• What is a funny promise that fits our daily life? (e.g., I promise to kill the cockroaches).
• What is a promise I want to make about our future family?
• Why this works: It balances the emotion with a touch of humor, which captures great candid smiles in your wedding photos.

 

9. What does your “Dream Saturday” look like in 20 years?

Marriage means growing together. Imagine you are older, maybe gray-haired. Where are you? Are you gardening? Are you traveling? Are you just sitting on the porch drinking tea together?

Ask yourself:

• Are we still holding hands when we walk?
• Are we surrounded by grandchildren?
• Are we traveling the world together?
• Why this works: It paints a picture of your shared future and shows you are in it for the long haul.

 

10. Why him? (Or Why her?)

If you could only say one sentence about why you are choosing your partner above everyone else in the world, what would it be? End strong, bring it back to the decision you’re making.

Ask yourself:

• If I had to describe him/her in one word, what would it be?
• Why can’t I imagine life with anyone else?
• Why this works: This is your closing statement. It is the summary of your love.

 

Using These Top 10 Questions to Help You Write Personal Wedding Vows

Once you have scribbled down the answers to these prompts, you have all the raw materials you need. You don’t have a blank page anymore—you have a draft!

By answering these Top 10 Questions to Help You Write Personal Wedding Vows, you have moved past the writer’s block and found the heart of your story. Now, you just need to structure it into a speech that flows perfectly.

Final Thoughts from a Penang Wedding Photographer

From behind the camera, I can say this with confidence:
The vows that couples remember most are not perfect—they are sincere.

Your vows don’t need to impress anyone else.
They only need to speak honestly to the person standing in front of you.

If your words come from the heart, that moment will stay meaningful long after the wedding day.

Read the next part of this guide: How to Write Wedding Vows That Make Everyone Cry

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